Hiiii I am alive. Going into exams. Woohoo. Post later.  ¶ 11:40 PM |

  I am alive and well. Few concerned emails, but nothing amiss! I went to Laos for the best weekend ever. Tubed down a river and did rope swings, went on motorbikes and had weird tuk tuk rides throw mountains. The standard. Then was back for a few days of school, then went out to work a kids camp outside of Bangkok for three days. THen stayed an extra night at the resort sans children to have some fun wakeboard watching, boat riding, bike riding and relaxing. After 2 days of biking small rich children around the wilds of Bangkok suburb flooded slums for hours on ends, I loved the day of sleeping in, sitting at the lake, and BBQing. And yes, I did get paid for my adventure, about 7000bht, which is a bloody fortune in this land of smiles. Indeed. Had a fun filled aventurous last few weeks. Highlights include:
Laos...
1) tubing down a rive, going off a rope swing with friend, slipping, falling head first many meters into river, resulting in seeing tonnes of stars and other fun things.
2) motorcycling down dirty ass dirt roads, having to yell at lazy cows to get to nice blue lagoon were we went swimming and I giggled as everyone went hiking up to a far away cave while I sat suntanning. Culture smulture.
3) 'sleeping' and sipping my beer under a table in Laos, which was about 1/2 meter tall for an hour as the guys sat around relaxing after eating super special happy food, and then creeping out when I realized that maybe that garlic bread might have been special.
4) driving 3 hours to get to some random Laos town to go tubing in the back of a souped up tuk tuk with 10 other friends from my exchange, drinking beers, listening to music and singing at the top of our lungs in one of the most beautiful places in the world. (I only drank 1 beer the entire day.)
5) hiking to pee along Laos roadside with the girls, resulting in us sliding down a mini-mountain in front of all the guys. we did not spill our beers.
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Phatun Thani camp
1) arriving at random 'camp' (read: nicest resort ever) with no idea other than we are working/volunteering. got to go kayaking in lizard and snake infested flood water all morning before getting to put together weird desk boxes (don't ask) and then followed by intense safety meetings (this is a ridiculous joke, as our safety meetings involved beers and other such things)
2) seeing 200 of the richest kids in Thailand pull up in fancy buses, with 50 of them in each group being my charges to bike around the countryside
3) realizing that most of the brakes and gears did not work on these children's mountain bikes, and realizing that this rich kids are used to getting driven around in their Benz's and not biking around hot as hell Bangkok countryside.
4) visiting the bat temple, where the hugest bats in the entire world live on normal trees. they only live on these trees in the area, for some reason, which a temple is build ride beside. we got to visit this temple about 1050390509 times in the next two days as we biked back and forth, back and forth.
5) realizing that all the teachers had no idea how many children or what children they were responsible for, nor did they care to count the children nor roll-call them, trusting that these 50 children would magically be in the right place at the right time. favorite was when "Grace" went missing for 10 minutes (after we forced them to take attendance), only for the frantic teachers to realize that Grace was still in Bangkok, she had never come on the trip. Right. THis was Day #2 in the afternoon. (Eye rolling commence.)
6) Seeing Thomas, Dutch exchange student, pulling German friend on a wakeboard in the resort pool last night. He was on a motorcycle, pulling Alex. ALex falls over, pulls motorcycle and Thomas with him into pool. Yes, motorcycle and Alex and Thomas in pool.
7) After motorcycle incident, Ruben decides to set up ramp made of plastic and bike off it into pool. Does this three times, then crawls up hotel roof, jumps into metre high water, and then goes up it again and jumps with a chair into meter high water again. Fast forward 12 hours, jumps off shed over water into lake. We cut him off after that.
8) Getting chased, on bike, by rabid, vicious dog.
9) Sleeping in the nicest resort, in the nicest room, with the nicest bed in the entire world for 3 nights. Heaven.
10) Getting to do it all over again in 2 weeks when I go back to do another kids camp at the end of the month. This time it is the international school, same same rich kids. Oooh.

Okay, time for bed, schooling tomorrow. My tummy is full of BBQ and juice. Ohlala. Yum yum yummers. Nothing like BBQ to compensate for the 2.5 days of constant Thai food. (Ugh. Rice. Veggies. Chicken. Maybe pork. Blah.) Give me baked potatoes, salad, corn on the cob, beef, chicken, garlic bread, Hong Thong whiskey.... yum yum.

Sorry for 2 week delay, it has been a wild time. Hehe. Off for next adventure. Vietnam anyone?  ¶ 12:17 AM |

  Off I go to Laos, offfff I gooooo to Laos! To Vang Vieng to tube down the river Nam Song! Heh and to Vientiane! Fly in a few hours!! Heh. Live is funny fun fun!  ¶ 1:23 PM |

  Hah. Okay, I am a tad embarrassed right now. I just gave my resume to someone, so that they could use it as a template for their resume, and I was cringing, because it is just so keener. It has awards and such and all my jobs and whatnot and the cover letter goes on and on. You know how it is, you have to sell yourself in those things. At any rate, it is a little painful because I was like, this person is going ot think that I am so high on myself. I was like, "haha you get to learn all about me" and he is like "even more?" And then I think, do I talk about myself quite a bit? Perhaps. Heh. That someone, who is looking at my resume, is obviously Dutchman/Ruben. (Oh introducing his real name.) I mean, I am a quite a chatty girl, and sometimes I do not like silences, so I fill it by yattering on about my family and friends and adventures of my day. I think I am going to try to embrace silences more. I get antsy with too much. I like talking. And writing. I... I ... I..... Haha. Whatever.  ¶ 5:43 PM |

  I love my friends to death, but the one that gets numero uno prize is Michelle. Not only has she listened to me complain and drag my feet around for the last month as I was struggling a bit, she also has the amazing sense to Dr. Phil myself into doing something about it. How I love her. THe most honest friendships can definitely be the best, all about balance. Shout out to Michelle. I sleep with her t-shirt on every night and cuddle a doll that looks like her every morning. I also pet her hair when she is sleeping. I think she likes it. (Just kidding... of course...)  ¶ 11:16 AM |

  (Yes, I realize my ability to write proper English has decrease since I have been here. That said, my ability to understand more about lanuguage has increased. Words are so interesting. I have not been doing any of my personal creative writing, nor any of my article writing as of late. Priorities, priorities. Relaxing, studying, and watching movies with the Dutchman are muc more important. Hah. Right. Later, later. I was impressed with myself that I have completed by Student Loan and my Bursary applications already. Beating the deadlines, left, right and center. It's a new trend in my life. Ohlala.)  ¶ 1:59 AM |

  So this is my day today....
Wake up at 7am. Wake Dutchman up at same time. Just for kicks. He gets to sleep in, I have to go to class. Do my homework, have cereal until 9:45 or so. Get coffee from coffee kiosk. Take motorcycle taxi to school. Print assignment. 10:00am class starts, write quiz in class. 11:30am break, buy a new book at bookstore. 12:30 Thai's decide to play huge stereo outside class, get out early due to noise disruption. Take motorcycle taxi home. 1:00 hang out with Dutchman. 2:30pm suntanning by the pool. Burn my stomach, read my book. 3:40pm get ready to go to yoga, take skytrain two stops. 4:00pm yoga. 5:30 have a Starbucks. walk home. 6:15pm have shower. read book. 7:30pm nap. 10:30pm go to 7-11. wide awake. 1am wide awake.....

That is just your normal day in the land of the Bangkok. Strange life here, I love it.

Michelle and I looked at some pictures of our friends, like Aaron and Jieppe's wedding styles. We missed all you guys. Especially since Chloe mentioned she saw the Erik, Nick, and Jeff at the bowling lanes(?).... We were bragging about our friends to Julia. I told Julia that Erik was German and we showed her pictures. She thinks he is definitely hot. Julia is from Germany and loves the tall boys. Did you know that Holland has the tallest people in the world? Maybe Germany is #2 or something.

I am reading the best book right now. It is called The Female Brain. Seriosuly a great read. Who knew that there were that many biological-brain-chemical-something something differences between men and women. I was blown away. It seriously explained a vast majority of the fights, discussions, and ill feelings I have encountered in my past dating lives. And helps me to chill out a little bit more. Scary stuff all these neurotransmitters and whatnot. Leads me to believe that life is a heck more complicated (and less complicated) then I once thought. Did you know that men say, on average, 7000 words a day? Yes, women say 20000 a day. Women speak on average twice as fast a men. Women have a lot larger communication and hearing areas of the brain, but men have twice as large an area devoted to sex. (This is due to the fact that women, being smaller, had to develop different ways to anticipate and read our environment in order to protect ourselves and our young. We developed our ability to read our environemnet, and our ability to communicate with others to develop groups to help protect us, due to our smaller sizes. Instead of straight-out aggression that men demonstrate, we are more likely to use communication-based aggression, such as manipulation to encourage sharing.) Men's brains are 9% larger, on average, then women's, but we have the same amount of neurons and whatnot, meaning that our brains are more densely packed. Due to our focus on communication in order to survive, we utilize eye contact, reading others faces and whatnot. This means that when we are faced with a blank face we get extremely upset and will do anything to get a reaction. Baby girls, when placed next to a mime, get extremely upset, as expressionless faces cause distress. This is why women get so upset when men do not maintain eye contact, or do not demostrate facial expressions. I have learned so much, and I am only 1/2 done. It is crazy the things that happen with hormones in our bodies throughout the month. In comparision to men, who do not have any major hormone switches (other than due to aggression situations), this is crazy. I have lived in mystery about men.

Case in point, I get all pouty and upset about something, but am not ready to start talking about it. It is beyond obvious that I am upset, though a certain boy does not ask me. He is completely shocked when I burst into tears and explain why I have been so upset for hours, maybe even days. Apologizing that I had not explained earlier, he laugh and said he had no idea I was even upset. I thought this was so incredibly obvious that I was beyond upset. I mean, I did not smile that much and I barely laughed and whatnot. Isn't it obvious? Apparently not. And now it kind of makes more sense.

Yep.... men and women are ridiculously different, though very similar in a lot of ways. There is study after study in this book, explained in non-crazy-medical-terms, that anyone can understand, describing these differences and the similarities. Written be a neurologist, with a bucket of credentials, utilizing numerous studies done in the past years from all over the world, it was written last year, so ridiculously up to date. I love it. It makes life make sense. And makes me think that everyone should be more aware of the differences, which can really help to remove conflict in a relationship, I think.

And fun was reading about what happens when women get pregnant. Our brains shrink, haha, for a few months, before returning to normal size. They are not really sure why, maybe to make room in certain parts of the brain, to help the baby. Heh that is why pregnant women get so forgetful and ditzy, but it returns to normal within a few months after birth of baby. And breastfeeding gives you a stronger neurological response than doing cocaine. Similar effects, just stronger. And your brain is permantly changed after having a baby, which allows linkage with the baby. Truly, things are not the same, you are always attached to wee baby.

And, of course, it talks about sex and orgasm and whatnot. Helps to describe, biologically, the differences between women and men in this area and how it plays out.

Annnnnyways, yes, a good and easy read for anyone. Helps to describe, also (this stuff is so interesting) about the different homrones in our cycle, and when we are more prone to have a greater memory (beginning of the cycle) and whatnot. I love it. We are more social in the two weeks before ovulation (right after your period) and more relaxed, etc...

I love stuff like this.

Anyways, maybe it will help me to chill out. I struggle in relationships sometimes, but I want to be in relationship, therefore it is a good thing to learn how to chill out so I can have relationships for the future. Learning to ask for exactly what I want, and how to just relax.

Only 3 more weeks of school. Done exams November 29. And then home, Vancouver, Dec 23. Life goes so quickly, best to just enjoy it.  ¶ 1:01 AM |

  Hi. Back again. So, almost two weeks after getting back from India and Nepal.... I am still sick. Yes, I knew I got some sort of intestinal thing in India, but I was praying that lettting it run its course for a while would make it go away (these things tend to.) Anyways, today, after feeling miserable, sleeping all day, and having worse pain in my stomach area, and, of course, frequent trips to the bathroom still, I decided (after pushing from Michelle) to go to the hospital clinic. I have to take some more antibiotics (the 3rd bout of antibioitics since August. Give me a break.) 2200bht later (ugh, like $70 which I do not have to waste or want to waste.) Anyways, yes, I get to take two antibiotics to hopefully kill this resistant bacteria, and have to go back on Wednesday if it is not better. Hopefully it does. Hopefully it will also kill the viral infection I have in my sinuses, caught in Darjeeling (yes, I know antibiotics are for bacteria, but here's hoping.)

Struggling a little bit here with the 21 year old approach to life in Bangkok, ala getting trashed a lot of nights in a row. It blows my mind, the amount of substance abuse here. I wish I could say that I haven't been drinking as well, but I have. I eel like I am back at University of Western Ontario and I am 17 again. Certainyl there are a lot of of other options, of things to do, though there is not a lot of options of people to hang out with. Drinking is the norm, days and days of end. It is hard to want to do that, and I do drink more than I would like (I mean, obviously, it is my choice, but it is hard to say no to the bandwagon.) Anyways, citing reasons of health and bodies and blah de blah, I am telling myself to cut it out. Realizing I would have to spend a lot more time by myself. (This writing is awful, I am a little (a lot) out of it.) I do not want to say it is age related, but it can be tied to that. I know some 27 year olds that are partying as hard as the 21 years olds, but I feel like I did get that all out of my system before. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love drinking, just more than 3 times a week is not something that is high on my priority list....

Which leads me to my next rant (okay, this might be all negative, I am sick and in a negative mood) which is that I struggle to have interesting and life-changing conversations here. Certainyl the conversations I have with Michelle are always very interesting (well, not always, but we are damn funny) and I learn a lot. But outside of that friendship, thsoe conversations are few and far inbetween. Seems to be the focus of conversations are 1) bitching about school 2) making future party/travel plans or 3) discussing past party/travel adventures. This is great and you do learn a lot about other cultures through those conversations, but it seems when I try, sometimes, to push the conversations into more about politics, philosophy, psychology or whatever, the conversations fall flat. This is pretty much a general issue here. I do not know what to do. I mean, I love getting ot know about people and learning about their lives, but you can imagine the norm of conversations that occur after say, 6pm, due to the chronic drinking. Things seem out of balance. Michelle reminded me that this lifestyle is what the kids would be doing back home, at the age of 21 or whatever- getting drunk, so, of course, that is what is going to happen (even more so) here. It is just a struggle for me, it is a far cry from my recent lifestyle, epsecially my lifestyle in Calgary which was just work-train-chill lifestlye, with few exceptions. Lots of good conversations were had in the past year, perhaps this is life balancing itself out?

I definitely know my health is partially not great due to me not taking care of myself. I am not working out, feeling rather unfit, as much as I would normally, (sometimes not at all), nor am I eating the same quality of food as back home. As well, being in foreign environments with different fun diseases and bacteria lends itself to getting more illnesses, a la India.

Annnnynways, positivity time. I am thinking I am learnign a lot about what I want and who I am here. I am certain of it, though it is the most painful experiencce here, I would have to say, some times more than others. Realizing that I do want to settle down sooner rather than later, becoming more aware of how my time is spent and how I conduct myself in a relaitonshipa nd what I want from relationships (including certain non-negotiables.) Very eye opening, and I am officially driving Michelle nuts with agony of introspection. Next semester, I think, is going to be even more painful as Michelle heads home and I am left to contend with the party-crazy people. I love partying, just not in such excess. Superfical friendships, perhaps.

Rant rant rant. Okkkkay, real positivity. I am grateful for my friends, all over the world, as they are really special to me. Especially my family. Amazing how time, and shared experiences bring people together... very special.


This is so out of control. Two differnet kinds of Thai antibioctic is making me slightly crazy.

Ooooh, good news, got 85/100 on my strategy midterm, highest mark int eh class! I was so excited. So excited! And got 92% on my IB one. As for Finance, let us all be grateful that I got a nice 67%. I hate that class with a burning passion. Hatred=hard to study. Anyways, that is my bragging, balanced out with the annoucement of my shitty ass Finance grade.  ¶ 8:36 PM |